Go Wildscaping

A few weeks ago, I found an unusual bug bite on my leg. I get bites all the time, so while it felt a little different from anything I’d experienced before, I didn’t think much of it in that moment.

A few days afterward, I was getting ready to take a hiking trip out West, and I found several spots that looked like ant bites on my fingers. Again, not terribly unusual — I often skip gloves when I garden, and I get the occasional bite. No big deal, right? And I certainly didn’t connect these spots to the bite on my leg.

After hiking, though, I kept finding what looked like tiny blisters on my arms and legs. Nothing painful — just incredibly itchy! I thought it was a new type of chigger bite even though I’d worn head-to-toe clothing. I had foolishly skipped insect repellant, so it was possible, I figured. But as the days progressed, more and more spots kept appearing, and it became clear the marks on my hands were not ant bites. I wasn’t even going outside anymore, and I had thoroughly washed every article of clothing that could have been harboring insect invaders.

Now don’t freak out – I’m not dying or anything. And I’ll spare you further details other than to say I was fairly miserable for days on end. But a single bug bite that can cause a delayed, full-body reaction really shook my confidence in being outdoors so casually. It made me wonder, too, how we’re wired to prefer the indoors or the outdoors and how much experiences like mine shape that preference.

I’m still healing physically, but I think I have a longer way to go mentally.

Sure, I’ve used the recent heat wave and a packed schedule as an excuse, but my gardening dropped off dramatically since this incident. I can’t help but feeling a bit betrayed by what I’m trying to protect. I recognize that’s not logical. It’s not like whatever bit me had any idea that I garden to promote nature and biodiversity. And the vast majority of insects don’t even bother humans, and that hasn’t changed. I just wasn’t afraid before.

Maybe I’m over-reacting. My body over-reacted to the bite, and I guess the mind can, too. Ha, I suppose I could view the ordeal as a point of pride, kind of like taking a bullet and living to tell about it (bug life instead of thug life?). I’m just surprised at my mental process lately:

Well, I could take five steps outside and cut herbs from our garden… but I’m only wearing shorts right now instead of full body armor.

Is this normal? I think it might help if I knew what bit me, but I don’t. (Everyone’s a suspect!) I just have to start slow, probably wear pants, and get back out there. Wish me luck.